Emo post ahead. I was reflecting back to Valentines Day a year ago. I was in a terrible state at the time but didn’t fully realize it. I booked the day off work and decided to take a me day. I hit the waters at a spa and tried to soak my troubles away. It was relaxing but it certainly didn’t get to the root of my problems.
It’s so funny how easily we can lie to ourselves. I thought I was sad because of the cold dark winter. I even started planning a huge kitchen reno because maybe throwing money at my house would make me feel better.
I was grasping at straws because I didn’t see that I was unfulfilled at work. Rather, I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to throw away eight years of career building, benefits for my family and a steady pay. I didn’t want to accept that maybe it was the end of the line. That I was stagnating there, I was unchallenged and unhappy. The work had changed. The only thing I looked forward to was the lunch time exercise classes and that’s damn well not enough.
It took me two more months of living this way before my body realized the state I was in and I had a panic attack that ultimately led to me leaving my job to return to freelance illustration.
I think of how far I’ve come over this past year. How I’m living a life that I’m much more satisfied with. A life where I get to be creative and build a career where I get to learn new things every day. I get to build myself up again. Plus I get to spend more time with my kids and watch them grow.
If you’re out there feeling unfulfilled I urge you to take a step back and look into what the root of the problem is. Love yourself and have the courage to take a risk and make a change because we only get one life and you never know how long you have. You’re the only one that has the power to make yourself happy.
Let’s make Valentine’s Day about loving ourselves and living the best lives we can. ❤️
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